Times like these is when I actually like Jimmy Fallon. I won't watch his show, mind you, because anything funny will make it on the interwebs anyway. And who on Earth is ever up that late?? I mean really. On a school night.



He also does a great Dave Matthews.

My new name

So my friend, Lizzie, directed me to the Jersey Shore nickname generator. My result is J-Pow. Which is awesome even though it sounds like that J-Woww girl with the rat's nest hair. So if everyone, from now on would address me as J-Pow that would be great. Thanks.

The Decline of a Civilization

Can we talk about how awesome "The Jersey Shore" is? That show is absolute unadulterated trash and I just can't get enough. As if Thursday nights were not already my favorite TV night of the week, this piece has just sent me over the moon. For the record let me state that I am not a fan of reality programming and MTV in general. I just cannot be bothered. At Kathy Griffin's show a few weeks ago I was completely lost when she talked about the "Housewives of" series that have taken over Bravo and I stopped watching "The Hills" after Lauren Conrad left.



But there is something about these guidos and guidettes, as Snooki calls herself, that is simply fascinating from an anthropological standpoint. I'm not going to pretend that I'm a stranger to backwards ass ways of thinking. I come from a small town in North Carolina so I know white trash and rednecks. Hell I've got some in my family. But these guidos. They are just a whole 'nother culture entirely completely foreign to me.


The things they find to be attractive, like giant tanned muscles, layer upon layer of makeup, hair shellacked within an inch of it's life - just to name a few, simply boggle the mind. Or my mind at least. From what I can see only two episodes in, MTV has taken the Real World formula but instead of taking strangers from different walks of life, just filled a tacky beach house with one particular cultural subset who share an affinity for partying, public dry-humping, and fist pumping. Given the level of class of the house's summer occupants we can definitely expect some fighting, excessive drinking, various levels of sexing up, and according to the previews, a very petite young woman getting full-on juiced up, roided out sucker punched in the face by a dude.

Most of my fascination with this show is the 'why'. Why do these people love the tackier things in life? Why do the men douse themselves in Drakkar Noir and wax their eyebrows (and think it's hot)? Where does this shameless vanity come from? Are they overcompensating for something lacking in their lives? What is the reasoning behind the strange and unscrupulous things they do? I really hope that that over the course of the season these and many other questions get answered and we see just what makes these people tick. I know I'm probably setting my hopes too high. After all this is the same MTV that gave the world the faux sapphic dating exploits of Tila Tequila. I'm still going to watch and hope and remain mesmerized by America's other white trash. The Jersey Shore is my siren song.






**Please excuse the random font changes throughout. Blogger is being a biznatch.

Take THAT!!!

Sam Rubin totally gives Perez Hilton tha bizness.

What I know

Any woman who has traversed the dating scene in Los Angeles knows that love is indeed a battlefield. There are more douche bags per capita than any other city in the U.S. except maybe D.C. (I've heard stories). I know this particular statistic because I have dated quite a few of them. Well I made it up, but ask anyone and they'll probably agree with me. So I've decided to share my stories about these guys. I can't exactly call them men since most of them don't know how to act like one. Some of these are doozies I'll tell ya. And I'll probably come across as an idiot a lot of the times, but hopefully these stories will at least be slightly entertaining and/or funny. My pain is your gain.

I'll try to leave out the gory details and stick to the main points, but I have to warn you I tend to ramble and give TMI sometimes.

GIRD YOUR LOINS!!!

I really suck at this

Wow. So my last post went on and on about how I was going to be better about keeping up with my blog...and it was dated in May. I suck.

Update

I've decided I need to do a better job keeping up with this thing. Otherwise what's the point and who would ever want to read it.

So the exciting news is that I'm going to New York for 2 weeks end of July!!! And then on to NC. Gotta start saving moolah hard core. And find a new place to live. And get a new tattoo. Yikes! Gotta lotta shizz to do.